08 Aug Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: How We Can Grow from Saying Farewell
Our pets aren’t just furry companions; they’re whirlwinds of joy who bound into our lives with wagging tails, rumbling purrs and an infectious zest for life’s smallest pleasures. They become our confidantes, therapists with fur and wet noses, offering a calming presence that anchors us during life’s fiercest storms. But like all cherished journeys, our time with them eventually slows, grays, and grows more precious, leading us to the tender, inevitable and challenging act of saying goodbye.
Losing a beloved pet is a deeply personal experience, woven with threads of grief, gratitude, and unexpected lessons learned. While the pain of loss can feel overwhelming, I have found that the journey of saying goodbye can also be a catalyst for profound personal growth. Each experience brings a different lesson and here are a few of the unexpected gifts I’ve received from the heartbreak of losing my beloved pets.
1. The power of presence [OR MINDFUL CARE]
Caring for Mason, who was my most recent loss and the handsome man in the picture, in his final months taught me the profound value of being present in the moment. I slowed down, cut back on work, savored the simple act of petting his fur and listening to his gentle breath as he slept. I even began to find joy in the challenging things like helping him up and down stairs, helping him walk around the yard, and eventually helping him get up and lay down. I began savoring the quiet moments of companionship, knowing they would be ending soon.
This heightened sense of being mindful of every moment I spent with Mason during his last months extended beyond the afternoon when he passed away. I found myself being more thoughtful about my interactions with my other pup, and toward people I care most about – even toward myself! Caring for Mason showed me I could appreciate the subtle details, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the laughter shared with loved ones – little things I previously thought of as just errands or average daily tasks and took for granted.
2. The ground shaking experience of empathy
Witnessing Mason’s vulnerability, and helping him with the smallest things we both once took for granted created a connection that was far more than sympathy – feeling sorry for him – but EMPATHY, truly connecting with what he might be feeling. I learned to read his subtle cues, to anticipate what he would need, and learn to offer comfort based on what he appeared to want and enjoy, instead of what I liked or wanted. While I can’t claim to be as understanding as I ought to with my family, friends and even clients, this empathetic glimpse into Mason’s life, has stretched for me beyond the animal kingdom. I’m a bit more attuned to the emotions of those around me, instead of how their actions make ME feel. I think and hope I’m a bit better at offering a listening ear and a compassionate heart to friends, family, and even strangers who may be facing their own struggles.
3. Letting go with grace
The decision to let go of my sweet boy was heart-wrenching. I knew that no matter how I felt, or how things were shaking out, I had to put Mason’s feelings and needs over my own. Learning to let go with grace so that when I am finally sitting there alone, I can at least balance my sadness with the understanding that I did the very best I could to ease him helps me now practice a little more acceptance, accept the inevitable changes in life, and to move on by cherishing love-filled memories.
4. Finding meaning in loss
This is a tough one and it can take some time. Losing a pet is simply awful – it leaves a hole in your heart and your daily life, from making breakfast to going to bed, which can leave you feeling empty and sometimes even angry or lost. But within the depths of grief, there is something that changes permanently. I know it’s up to me to make it a positive change. Mason, and all of my other pets for that matter, had an incredible impact on my life, and I needed to process exactly what that was, to find meaning the experience of sharing our life left me. That’s something you often can only really do when the being you loved so much has been lost.
Celebrating the journey – both shared and alone
The joy and fun I shared with Mason and all the other pups and kitties I’ve known, enriched my life in so many ways. While the pain of losing all of them is still sometimes sharp, I also look back on a lot of real beauty in the journey we had together – even in those final hours, days or weeks. Saying goodbye, as difficult as it was, made me realize I owe it to the spirits of all these creatures to accept and make something truly positive out of the gifts they gave me…all those wonderful years of their lives. These gifts — to appreciate the present moment, cultivate empathy, and let go with grace were given to me through their deaths, and transcend my loss, helping me appreciate the love that’s all around me in the eyes of the animals I now journey with.
Jennifer began to learn more about dog behavior and training in 2009, by reading all the latest science-based research she could find and by enrolling in a dog training course through Raising Canine, owned and operated by Susan Smith, CDBC, CPDT-KA. Jennifer earned her national certification in professional dog training through the Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers (CCPDT) in 2013. She feels strongly that: “The attitude that’s brought to the training session by both myself and the dog’s guardian is critical to its success.” “I strive to fully understand the goals as well as the challenges of each client and work hard to develop a plan that works for everyone, including the dog.”
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